Just discovered this random draft from ~2016 of a skit I wrote on “Summertime Blues” by Eddie Cochran.
The context is when I was training for ordination at St Hild College. Every year we had a residential Easter school, which at the time was at the University of Durham, and one evening was given over to a revue. In the event, this didn’t see the light of day, but I obviously got as far as drafting it on here! At the time I had the actual tutor’s names.
Well I’ve a got to read Barth and I’ve got to read Bonhoffer
And I need to write an essay but I guess I ain’t no scholar
So I tried to call my tutor, to try and change the date
but he said “No dice son, you can’t hand it in late”
Sometimes I wonder what I’m a gonna do
but there ain’t no cure for the Easter School bluesThe college tutors told us that “you’ve got to do some mission,
You need to go down into Durham and do some people fishing”
But I went down to the river, and hid inside a hole
“So you can’t graduate ‘cos you didn’t save a soul”
Sometimes I wonder what I’m a gonna do
but there ain’t no cure for the Easter School bluesIt’s just one week but it sure ain’t no vacation
I really want to skip it and go straight to ordination
So I tried to call the bishop, to see what she could do
but she said
[in normal voice, fading to silence]
“According to Ministry Division regulations, I’m afraid all ordinands are required to spend at least 5 nights a year on a residential…”
I did also have a stab at Sound of Silence, inspired by the very noisy pipes (plumbing gently creaking) where we were staying, and the fact that Durham actually has cobblestones. But I also think it got borderline inappropriate at one point, which is probably why I canned it.